Matthew 1: 18-25
‘An Ode to Joseph – The Perfect Spouse and Parent’
Last Advent I ordered skits for our Riviera Thespians to use in what I refer to as our ‘reverse nativity pageants’. Some of you might remember the wonderful job done by Barbara Overton, Allison Anderson, and Ellen Anderson in their roles as shepherd, magi, and Mary. Chuck Hannemann was going to portray Joseph but health concerns at the time prevented it.
Then, in the next month, I read a journal article about Joseph and that he was, in many ways, a mystery to us and a person to whom we should revere. As I meditated on the article, I thought that perhaps the time to flesh out Joseph is not at Christmas when he is so eclipsed by, well, Christmas, but spend time thinking about him on a holiday when we celebrate parenting and families. So, I put the skit I had in a file for this Sunday when we celebrate with thanksgiving the gift of families and parenting. (David, thank you for fleshing out the Joseph character this morning and helping us see that the role Joseph was put in was not an easy one!) Joseph rose to the occasion and did an incredible job of emotionally working through a difficult situation and welcoming Mary’s pregnancy. He accepted the situation that others would have fled from and then did a great job of parenting the baby Jesus into adulthood.
Let’s think about what we know about Joseph. Most of what we know about him and his character can be found in the scripture passage read this morning and we can infer a few more things about him by the infant and childhood narratives of Jesus. We know that Joseph was of royal lineage. He is a descendant of King David which was important to fulfill the prophets claims about the messiah. Joseph was engaged to be married to Mary and during their engagement, Mary became pregnant and the baby was not Joseph’s. To understand Joseph we need to understand that this type of situation was dire in ancient Israel. Women, in Mary’s delicate condition could still be stoned to death. Before being told in a dream and understanding what was actually happening, Joseph had made a plan to protect Mary. He was going to quietly send her away to have the baby in a safe place. Joseph was a skilled laborer, a carpenter by trade, and although it is never said right out, there is an unwritten understanding that he was a bit older than Mary. Joseph was not a wealthy man. We know this because when Joseph and Mary and the infant Jesus went to the temple in order that Jesus be circumcised and for Mary participates in the ritual purification he offered for sacrifice of two turtle doves or pigeons instead of the customary lamb which indicated he could not afford one.
Joseph is a man of good and strong character. Scripture calls him a righteous man. Righteous, when we use it in modern language, can mean priggish or judgmental, but here it means being a person of moral character. When Joseph woke up from the dream where he was told about the child that was to be born, his response was far more than a renewed obligation. He responded with mercy, ingenuity, and assurance.
You might think that Joseph had some humiliation about the situation he and Mary found themselves. Perhaps people snickered about him behind his back. But if he felt any negativity, the angelic visitors put them at bay and they must have been more than offset by the incredible pride and delight that God would honor him to care for His child. He knew something amazing was going on and he would be the man to raise the Messiah for which Israel hoped and waited.
We know that Joseph was a caretaker and that he loved and protected the baby Jesus. The family had to flee to Egypt for Jesus’ safety and stayed there until they knew that Herod was no longer looking to kill the baby. And then when Jesus was at that stage in life when he was spreading his wings and looking for independence from his parents, he stayed in the temple for 3 days talking theology with the men without telling his parents where he was. Joseph and Mary were worried sick until they found him.
We don’t hear about Joseph after Jesus begins his ministry. Joseph does not appear in Jesus’ public life, or at his death and resurrection. Because of this, religious historians believe he died when Jesus was a young man.
The Catholic Church has named Joseph a saint and he has become the patron saint of many groups. He is the patron saint of the workers, fathers, travelers, immigrants, and because it is thought that he died surrounded by his loving family with Mary and Jesus at his side, he is the Saint for people to die a happy death. Even some of our houses might have statues of Joseph in the yards we don’t even know about! Some of you might have been given statues of Joseph to bury upside down in your yard when you put it on the market to sell, as his patronage also is towards homeowners and sellers.
But, personally, I feel Joseph is more than all that. This not in the limelight and often overlooked hero is an example of what it means to be a good spouse and parent. Joseph was a good partner to Mary. You don’t always understand when you fall in love with someone what it takes to be a good spouse, but Mary had the jewel of one. Joseph respected Mary… and showed attributes that, well, I would like to see in the person that my daughter marries! You feel not just love, but mutuality and a ‘we are in this for the long haul’ mentality. Our marriage ceremony in the Presbyterian Church does not shy away from the hard parts of marriage in its vows and prayers. There are good and easy times in a marriage, but the good spouse is the one that is your partner in the not so good and difficult times in life. The good partner is not the person for the parts of your life when you are healthy, are wealthy, and life is full of joy. In sickness, in financially difficult times, and in times of emotional upheaval a person proves their strength and commitment.
Joseph expected something different when he became engaged to Mary. I’m sure he thought they would have simple easy lives supported by his work as a carpenter and the community of their congregation. Instead, he was called upon to parent the messiah, the promised one and to protect his wife and this child from death and to know that, as a step-father, his child was destined for much greater things than that for which he could prepare him. Joseph was supportive to the needs of his family. Joseph was but Joseph was able to go with this uncharted life. He was the perfect partner for Mary and also the perfect person to raise a child with special needs and a future Joseph could not fully comprehend.
As we think about our parents and the qualities they possessed for which we are so grateful, many of them are these qualities that Joseph modeled. Joseph had other plans for his and Mary’s life. Then life, or rather God interfered. And through everything, Joseph is the epitome of unconditional love and support. He accepted Jesus as a gift and supported him in every way.
And those of us who are parents and grandparents can attest that being a parent as open-minded as Joseph is is a blessing. All our children are gifts from God, and we have expectations and hopes for each of them. But our hopes are not usually the reality of who they are and what they do and become with their lives. Children do not follow the plans we set in place for them. Their lives are God’s and theirs. We need to be like Joseph and help them to be all that they are meant to be, respecting their journeys as theirs and not ours. Joseph is our example here of acceptance, of going with the flow, of letting the child born become whatever God created, and loving that creation absolutely and unconditionally. Amen.